The Rocky Horror-Scope!

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Don't dream it! Be it!

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a cult classic from 1975. It was adapted from the stage musical The Rocky Horror Show, and was meant to be a sort of love letter to campy horror movies.

Over the years, it has gained cult status and is beloved in the LGBTQIA+ community. This film is not perfect and some parts of the film have not aged well, but its fun characters and catchy songs have inspired generations of artsy outcasts to embrace their inner Frank N. Furter!

Read on to find out your Rocky Horror-scope. (I really hope my editor leaves that pun in.) Don’t forget to check your moon and rising signs as well as your sun signs.

Aries – The Lips!

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Iconic Aries kicks off the zodiac and iconic red lips kick off this cult classic by singing the opening song “Science Fiction, Double Feature.” But that is not the only reason I paired the cardinal fire sign with the musical mouth. The Lips are lined with a fiery and fabulous shade of Aries power color, red! 

Fun fact: In the stage musical, the character who sings this song is called The Usherette. But in the movie, the lips belonged to Patricia Quinn but the voice belonged to Richard O’Brien.

Taurus – Magenta

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I have often called Taurus the homemaker of the zodiac. And since Magenta is listed as a domestic in the opening credits, you could call her a homemaker. Or I guess a mansion-maker. She is also paired with the fixed earth sign because she is delightfully hedonistic.

Gemini – The Criminologist

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As the wordsmith of the zodiac, Gemini is one of the most communicative signs. So naturally, I had to pair them with the eloquent narrator of this film, the Criminologist. His poetic storytelling and expressive use of language make him the ideal Gemini.

Cancer – Columbia 

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Cancers are over-sensitive, emotional, cynical, and devoted. Does that sound like a certain tap-dancing groupie that we all know? Columbia would make an excellent Cancer because she is insanely devoted to Frank and is quite cynical of his creation, Rocky. She is also possibly the most emotional character in the movie.

Fun fact: Rock legend Joan Jett played Columbia on Broadway.

Leo – Frank N. Furter 

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Frank N. Furter is totally a Leo! Frank has nothing but Leo in his chart. He embodies every known trait of the fixed fire sign. He manages to charm Brad and Janet quite easily. His style and personality are super bombastic. And he is nothing if not theatrical. But don’t worry Frank! We won’t get strung out by the way you look. We won’t judge a book by its cover.

Also, what the heck is a satanic mechanic? 

Virgo – Janet Weiss

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Like a Virgo, Janet starts off the show pretty timid and unable to relax around the strange inhabitants of Frank N. Furter’s castle. But Rocky helps her bust out of her shell. Though her loyalty is tested by Frank and his creation, she eventually returns to the safety of Brad’s arms.

Libra – The Unconventional Conventionists

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Okay, Libra, hear me out! Before you get upset that I paired you with the film’s extras, let me explain. The Unconventional Conventionists, also known as Transylvanians or Phantoms, are the guests who attend Frank’s party to celebrate his latest obsession. And if there is any sign that knows how to party, it’s Libra, the social butterfly. Also, the “Time Warp” would not be as iconic without the ensemble’s amazing dance routine.

Scorpio – Eddie

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What happens when you leave Meatloaf in the freezer too long? Eddie is Frank’s rebellious failed experiment. Just like the fixed water sign, he is haughty, sensual, and he really knows how to have a good time. And if he is a Scorpio that means that he would be compatible with Cancerian Columbia.

Sagittarius – Dr. Scott

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Sagittarians are known for their sagely wisdom. And Dr. Scott is one of the wisest characters in the movie. Like the mutable fire sign, he is self-reflective of his own kinky nature and lacks discretion by the end of Frank’s floor show. His life is lived for the thrills!

Capricorn – Brad Majors

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Capricorns are cardinal earth signs so they can be very protective and dependable. They also approach problems with a no-nonsense attitude. So of course I had to pair them with straight-laced Brad Majors. This is a perfect pairing because Janet is paired with Virgo so she would be compatible with a Capricorn.

Fun fact: Brad’s solo “Once in a While” was cut from the movie.

Aquarius – Riff Raff

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Aquarians often feel like aliens, so who better to pair them with than the new commander of the alien race known only as the Transylvanians. Aquarians can also be temperamental and seen as outsiders. Riff Raff personifies these qualities when he delivers his “He never liked me” speech. 

Fun fact: Riff Raff was played by the writer and director of the movie, Richard O’Brien.

Pisces – Rocky

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Oh Rocky! The mutable water sign gets paired with the titular character! Like an escapist Pisces, Rocky is a little naive and is always trying to get away from his creators. But he is also incredibly creative like a Pisces. At only thirty seconds old, he makes an allusion to the Roman parable “The Sword of Damocles.”

Fun fact: The actor who played Rocky, Peter Hinwood, had his voice dubbed in the movie by Trevor White.

Ophiuchus – Betty Hapschat

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Betty Hapschat was once just plain old Betty Munroe (she’s still plain). But Ophiuchus still isn’t real

Fun fact: Though Betty Hapschat was only a featured extra in Rocky Horror Picture Show, she was a supporting character in the sequel Shock Treatment.

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